Once Upon A Time In America

One of my very best friends, Tom Chiaradio, took the time to look up and find a picture of the ship that his father passaged on to get to America. He sent me a copy of the picture, and I was inspired enough, not only by his respect for his father and family to make that search, but also because it reminded me so much of my own search for my family heritage.

I am posting here (below) my reaction/response to Tom's e-mail of that picture. If you, the reader's, own parents came to America as immigrants you may find this of interest. There is also something of interest to be gleaned from this essay even if your parents were born in America. We are extremely fortunate to be Americans.

"Yo Compadre,

That's a nice picture. A lot of nostalgia, and it gives you plenty to think about. You can't help but wonder what it was like to take that long cruise, in many cases alone, or with a relative, but always after leaving everyone you knew back in Italy. Just think of the fear that might have built up in their imagination, or maybe just the opposite, the hope and excitement of "gold in the streets waiting to be picked up!" Those were times that none of us has gone through, with the exception of those, like you, who went off to war not knowing if you were ever coming back, and fearing what lay ahead. The two experiences do not belong in the same paragraph, but I draw on the similarity only as to the adventure of leaving your family behind.

If we could only talk to our parents and ask the intelligent questions that come with years of experience from living. We were not old enough to know the right questions to ask when we were younger. We did not have the proper frame of mind or frame of reference. I don't know what pearls of information I might pass on to my kids, and I do know that they don't ask anyway. If they ever asked me what it was like in the 40's and 50's, and I told them, I don't think they would ever ask again. We lived a life of frugality. Maybe it was like that with our parents. Maybe they didn't WANT to remember. I heard once that when my uncle Jack heard that someone from Mirabella, Italy who had come to America and had lived here for most of his life, was going back to Mirabella for a visit - Jack was reputed to have asked, in incredulous tones - Why???? And that was supposedly followed up with something like "There's nothing there, why would you want to go back?" This is why I refer to frame of mind and frame of reference. He, obviously, did not have great memories of what he left behind, and was just as happy to never have to go back.

What we think of the "Old Country" is something that we have built up in our minds. Times there were tough. They're probably still tough. I don't believe that anywhere on earth will you find the extravagances that we have in America.

Only the individual knows his own story, and just as we, if asked for our story, would never give it in it's complete and unabridged version, so they would have done the same thing and held back most, and tell only the surface story.

Ah, enough nostalgia. It's hot here in Texas - very uncomfortable.

Chas"